So. I'm sitting here using the computer in my room. Crazy concept, I know. Usually I wouldn't be allowed to use this computer since it's only for my moms work and what-not but she's given me the password to log in.

That's a large amount of power she's given me. Hehehe..

Anyway.

I can't download anything like MSN messenger or Yahoo! messenger. Anything fun, really. This is only really used to check dA and MySpace and other websites I don't care about.

Aha. I'm joking. Of course I care. o.o;

Anyway.

I think this is going to be the longest journal I've done in a long time.

Recently I've gotten closer to some of my friends. I've actually started trusting people more and I have to say, I'm rather proud of myself. It's only a handful of people, really but if you REALLY knew me which only like. 2 of you do, you'd know I'm not that great at trusting people. So I'm gonna give a little love to them.

Elly ()
Joe ()
Steph ()

And even though we've only hung out for like. the second time in the whole year I've known you..

Amanda ()

Park days are fun.

Just wanna say thanks for listening to me whine and complain A LOT recently and for helping me out with a recent problem I'd had. (Amanda is excluded from that little part. Sorry babe.) It really means a lot to me. You guys ROCK. Even if I don't tell you guys all the time, I really appreciate everything you've done. Keep doin' what you do.

Well, I know that I've only given love to people from dA and that's because the other people that I've gotten close to are.. no one, really.

Oh wow. That was harsh. I didn't say that. Forget I said that. That wast not typed. You did not just read that. Man.

I'm suddenly reminded of the 100 themes challenge I kept posting in my journals. At one point I was working my ass off to get started on it and to do it but then the computer I was using blew up. (Really. It was horrible.) And it deleted all of my work and I had always told myself I would get started again on it but alas, I have not.

It's a shame, really. I could have come up with something stupid for everyone to get a kick out of.

Hm. Don't really know what else to talk about.

Oh. I have started playing on these little piano/keyboard things that we have. They're horribly small. Half the size of a piano. Maybe less than half. I used to play on them constantly but it seems I have lost my talent to play on them in the 5 or 6 months in which I haven't.

Don't listen to me play. It's terrible.

Speaking of playing. I really should start practicing my clarinet for band. I have the music but it seems that as soon as I got my music, I always had plans to get out of the house and do stuff. First Washington. Then the park. Then a sleep-over. Then the party. Then the park yesterday.

Wait. I did have a few days where I didn't do anything. Oh well. Must have been busy then, too.

Well, it's 3:18am on Sunday morning. I should be sleeping but my mom has given me such power. You know what I'm gonna do?

That's right. It's porn time.

Actually, no. I wouldn't do that. Plus, I'd get caught.

I'm rambling. Blahsdlkfjpwoaeih.

Stop reading.

I'm not interesting.



Just one more thing before I really go. I just sat here for about 10 minutes after clicking the mood thing to change my mood and all I've gotten is a little blue dancing emoticon.

Why are you dancing? Are you dancing at my pain? Is that why you're smiling, too? You're just.. there. Dancing and smiling while I just sit here. While you taunt me with your mind games.

Well, you won't be dancing and smiling anymore when I cut off your arms and glue your mouth shut.

Woah. That's a little bit scary. Oh my.

But seriously. It's actually starting to piss me off now. Now I can't change it to.. to ya know. A little red face who's head explodes because it's so pissed off. What will fulfill my life now?

Stupid blue smiling dancing emoticon..



Making my way downtown.
Walking fast.
Faces pass,
And I'm home bound.

Staring blankly ahead.
Just making my way,
Making a way,
Through the crowd.

And I need you.
And I miss you.
And now I wonder..

If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight.

It's always times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me.

'Cause everything's so wrong.
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memories.

'Cause I need you.
And I miss you.
And now I wonder..

If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight.

And I, I don't want to let you know
I, I drown in your memory.
I, I don't want to let this go.
I, I don't..

Making my way downtown.
Walking fast.
Faces pass,
And I'm home bound.

Staring blankly ahead.
Just making my way,
Making a way,
Through the crowd.

And I still need you.
And I still miss you.
And now I wonder..

If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you..

If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you..
If I could just hold you..
Tonight.